Child Psychology Is Not Just About the Child
When a child comes to therapy rarely it is because they think they need to be there. Usually, they are referred for psychology by their parent(s), medical practitioner, teacher, or another health practitioner. They may have had a hard time learning at school, challenges with cohesion at home, constant friendships issues, difficulty with organising belongings or self-care tasks, and big behaviours in the face of changes or transitions.
As an educational & developmental psychologist working with young children I place considerable effort getting to know the child’s family system as well as the individual child. Family information can be collected via an intake with a parent(s) or a caregiver; however the day-to-day challenges, concerns, and/or behaviours in a family unit informs support for the child not only individually but holistically in the broader context of their environment. This can sometimes be a surprise to parents who may not have considered the broader factors that may be contributing to their child’s distress which on many occasions exist within the family.
Individual support for the child is also important. Children require time and safety to build trust and communicate how they might be feeling and thinking about themselves, and how they behave or respond to certain situations. Children are fine-wired to pick up inauthentic bids for connection which may happen if the child’s family are wanting the child to change, and the session work is centred on ‘changing’ the child. Avoiding this, I stay curious about what is of interest to the child, respect their differences and direct support to the family to understand their child. Children thrive when interactions are authentic, genuine, interesting, and when they are given autonomy, agency, and met with curiosity.
Working with a young child is therefore not just about working with the child. In fact, it may be possible to support a young child via parent work only but not the other way round, that is only supporting a child without parent support. If you are reading this as a parent and seeking a psychologist to help your child please consider this very important point. Developmentally appropriate support for a child requires a parent to reflect and understand on their own parenting experiences as well as their current parent-child relationship.
The parent-child relationship is a key part of my work when supporting young children. I am informed by attachment and relational theories when working with children and their family system. Research shows that a secure parent-child relationship is foundational for future emotional, social, and cognitive growth, as well as shaping well-being. A secure attachment with a parent or significant other provides a sense of safety and security, allowing children to explore the world more confidently and regulate their emotions.
Because parents come to parenting with their own attachment history. Parenting a child may be the first time a parent experiences feelings, thoughts, and / or behaviours that surprise or challenge them. Talking with a psychologist to understand these feelings, thoughts, and / or behaviours is the first step to making a positive difference to the parent-child relationship and future relationships for the child.
At Badger’s Place children accessing individual psychology will be offered parent support sessions in line with developmentally appropriate practice. Parent sessions provide a safe place for the parent to talk about any parenting concerns. If a child has a MHCP parents are entitled to up to two sessions out of 10 for this purpose on their child’s plan. If your child has individual psychology funded via the National Disability Insurance Scheme parental/family support to address disability related barriers and build capacity for the participant in a home environment may be utilised under individual psychology or via funding specific for this purpose.
If you are interested in reading about what your child can expect their sessions to look like see these previous blog posts:
If you are looking at psychology for your child including parenting support please feel free to get in touch with us to explore this option further.
